Humor, Uncategorized, Weight Loss

Mouse Tales

After I slammed down a few cups of coffee this morning,  I began to think about breakfast. Although it is not paleo, oatmeal sounded absolutely wonderful and I jumped up and headed into the kitchen.  I had a few of those cranberry, apple, walnut instant oatmeal cups on hand and I foraged through my pantry to find them.  Right before I opened up the cup I turned to look at the nutrition facts.  What?!  Fifty-three grams of carbs and some ridiculous amount of sugar. I put the oatmeal back in the pantry and closed the door muttering a few adult words while my dog stared at me. I had pretty much cooked almost every bit of food on hand trying out the new Instant Pot that I purchased weeks ago.  Now I was down to eggs and high carb foods, so I cooked up a couple of eggs and called it good.  Late morning I headed off to the gym for a quick workout and by mid afternoon I had passed hangry and was feeling sick.  Hangry is the point of hunger where you swear everyone in a 2 mile radius is going down if you don’t get fed immediately. I didn’t even experience much of the hangry phase, I slid right on into “I am gonna be sick.”  Since my oldest son was home, I decided it was a perfect time to have a lunch date and we headed off to a local restaurant/ bar.  The restaurant part of the building was incredibly cold so we worked our way to the bar.  If you have ever read If You Give a Mouse a Cookie by Laura Joffe Numeroff, you will understand the next part of my story….

If you put an adult in a bar, they are going to ask for an adult beverage.  I decided on a vodka cranberry which arrived to the table a very pale, pink color so essentially I had jez-timms-128933-unsplashvodka with a few droplets of cranberry juice. I then decided on a cheeseburger without the bun and instead of fries, I ordered a side salad with a raspberry vinaigrette. However, if you give the adult one vodka cranberry, chances are they are going to ask for another…


unsplash-logoJez Timms

Humor, Instant Pot, Uncategorized, Weight Loss

Please Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself…

A few weeks ago someone on Facebook told me that my writing style reminded them of Erma Bombeck.  Wow! What an incredible compliment.  It had been years since I had even heard her name and I found myself downloading a few of her books onto my Kindle. While reading through some of her work, I began laughing out loud as I recognized my own voice and way of thinking in her written words.  Erma Bombeck was a humorist, a storyteller.  Up until that very moment, it had never once dawned on me what my writing style was, I had never categorized it, nor had I labeled it.  I have no formal training in writing, I simply have a passion for writing and the ability to tell a story in such a way that it makes others smile.  I now recognize that I am also a humorist, a storyteller and I appreciate that being brought to my attention.

I sat for several hours today thinking of my blog and my return to a healthier lifestyle. I hope that I am able to motivate others who are struggling or simply wish to better themselves in some way. I hold the belief that in order to understand how you arrived at a moment in your life, you have to know where you have been, without allowing your past to define you. With that being said, on a tab, at the top of my blog I have attached a story titled “My Ugly Truth – The Making Of A Fat Girl And The Birth Of a Humorist.”  Those who know me have read this story before, however, if you haven’t read it, this is my own personal story about how I arrived at being overweight, written in 2011. When I edited my blog today and attached my story, I found myself reading it and recognizing that the storyline has continued on, almost unchanged, through these past 7 years since it was written. This was a soul-shaking moment. Seven years have passed and very little is different about my life.

That was yesterday, this is today:


I do not want this blog to be solely about weight loss or my lifestyle change, although, that is certainly the stage of my life that I am at right now.  I want it to circle, morph, evolve, much like life; whatever strikes my fancy as a humorist, as a storyteller.

You may or may not have noticed a change in my icon from an Instant Pot to a painted picture of a woman.  The picture is more of a representation of my character, whimsical,  and one that I personally painted. I have also changed my tag line. There will still be cooking in my Instant Pot, Planet Fitness adventures and my continued lifestyle change.  Moving forward, I will weave in elements of my daily life that you will hopefully find amusing and keep you entertained and motivated.

Welcome once again to my blog.




Humor, Instant Pot, Uncategorized, Weight Loss

Scales And The Lies They Tell

While I do not want my lifestyle change to be about the numbers on a scale, I feel it is important to check in on my progress from time to time. Since my aging scale has beenscale-403585_1280 struggling to turn on, I decided that it was time to replace it.  When I got on the new scale, it weighed me in at 3 lbs heavier than my old scale. What kind of sorcery is this?! I was ready to hurl it out the window take it back to the store and get a refund. Instead, I will suck it up and accept that my dearly departed, old scale was lying to me.

Today was day 9 at the gym and as I started up the treadmill, I realized that I am still sore from my time on the elliptical yesterday.  I pushed through 30 minutes on the treadmill and then made my way to the Total Body Enhancement machine.  If you haven’t been following along, this is a machine uses red light therapy to promote weight loss and tones your body by vibrating it ….imagine a jack hammer, now imagine you are standing on the jack hammer, I am certain that would be a close comparison. Strangely enough, this machine energizes me and improves my mood, probably because it shakes the hell right out of you!

Word of the Day:  Hip Flexor – this is an upper thigh/hip muscle that may hurt if you have sat on your behind too many years and then suddenly try to get fit.



Humor, Instant Pot, Uncategorized, Weight Loss

Out Of My Comfort Zone

After going to bed late last night, I set my alarm at 5:00 am to check on my Instant Pot Yogurt. I am not certain what rock I have been living under but prior to purchasing my IP, I had no idea that making yogurt at home was actually a thing.  Apparently there are a couple different ways to do this and I chose the Cold Start Method at, although, I did not add any sweetened condensed milk.  Instead, I will add a little vanilla and toss in some berries to sweeten it up.

It just occurred to me…who in their right mind gets up at 5:00 am on a Sunday to look at yogurt?  I better make certain I am taking in enough calories for healthy brain function.


I had every intention of sitting on my behind today and doing absolutely nothing, however, by late afternoon I started feeling pangs of guilt for not going to the gym; I got dressed and headed out the door.  Once I checked in I started to walk toward my comfort zone, the treadmill.  I stopped, turned around and headed toward my nemesis, the elliptical. I was still sore from leg day but I was determined to push through on this thing.  Last time I spend a whopping 12 minutes before my legs were jelly.  Well, I don’t mean to brag but I upped my game by an entire minute. That’s right, 13 whole minutes.  Next I will be catching flies with chopsticks.