Humor, Planet Fitness, Uncategorized, Weight Loss

Sunday Blame and Pain

I read an article at that suggested “Studies in animals have found that when circadian rhythm is thrown off, health problems including obesity and metabolic disorders such as diabetes can arise.” I believe there may have been some sort of digital misprint here because I am pretty certain the article was supposed to read:

Circadian Rhythm Disrupter      aka Chloe

“Studies OF animals have found that pets throw off the human circadian rhythm every. damn. night. which can lead to health problems including obesity and metabolic disorders such as diabetes can arise.” If you have a pet that sleeps in your bed, the struggle for sleep is real.   After jumping on and off the bed all night, as if she were involved in some sort of olympic training, my dog woke me at 5:55 am with a soft moan in my ear that continued for several minutes until I got out of bed.  My dog has a circadian rhythm that usually wakes her before my alarm goes off on weekdays and wakes her at the same time on weekends; I have not had the opportunity to experience mine. Bottom line:  It is my dog’s fault I am overweight and perhaps it is not because of the fact that I really love pizza and wine.

The first thing that I noticed when I crawled out of bed this morning was that every single muscle in my body hurt. Ok, perhaps that was an over exaggeration because my facial muscles aren’t hurting.  So to clarify, ever muscle below my chin has called out sick and doesn’t want to work today. When I went to Planet Fitness yesterday, I decided to do their 30 Minute Circuit which combines strength training and step cardio, however, I choose to only complete the  strength training portion.. When I finished the circuit, I got on a recumbent bike to transition into a gentle cardio workout.  I started off programing the thing manually and then decided to choose a workout program specific for weight loss. The machine prompts you to input your age and your resting heart rate, which I will be honest, that threw me off because I had already been peddling for a few minutes.  I don’t know exactly what I ended up entering into this machine but it flashed a message telling me that my resting heart rate was 70% of the remaining human population and, from what I was gathering, it was asking me ARE YOU CERTAIN YOU WANT TO DO THIS?  Um…yeah, I guess so.  It is a recumbent bike, not the elliptical so what could possibly go wrong?

It started out so easy that I was certain I hadn’t programmed it correctly.  I began peddling faster and faster to get my heart rate up. Just as I was wondering if I shouldn’t try reprogramming it, the numbers began to change. It started out with a low number and slowly kept climbing until it was at 14.  Now I don’t know exactly what 14 meant on the grand scale of things but I can only describe it as you are on a bike and the bike tires are quickly drying in cement and you are expelling every last bit of energy that you have to keep those tires spinning.  My heart rate had climbed to well over 165 and the machine was flashing SLOW DOWN.  I lasted 20 minutes before I recognized that if I didn’t stop peddling that I may perish on a recumbent bike in Planet Fitness and there was no way I was going down like that.

Today may be a day of rest…

*Note: No, I am not really blaming my dog for having a wine club membership and Round Table Pizza on speed dial…

Humor, Planet Fitness, Uncategorized, Weight Loss

Theme’s Ok To Me…

I lost about 8+ hours of my life yesterday working on my blog, I wish that could have been pounds.  The more posts that I added to my original theme, the more it began to resemble Black Friday when the doors are rushed and you have no idea which direction to run to first. I chose a more simplistic theme for easier viewing. Please feel free to leave your thoughts or input.

Where did my header come from?  I created my own version of one of those wine and canvas paint parties.  I sat at home, looked up a picture that I wanted to paint, opened up a bottle of wine and began painting.  About half way into the bottle I was certain I was channeling Van Gogh but the reality may have been closer to me channelling a toddler drawing on the wall with crayons.

Have a fabulous Saturday! I am off to the gym…





Humor, Uncategorized, Weight Loss

“OK. I’ll Go, I’ll Go, I’ll Go…”

I have always been a morning person.  When my alarm begins its relentless beeping at 5:00 am, I usually spring out of bed and I am ready to start the day, however, this morning it was though my body was cemented to my bed.  Perhaps my body sensed that today was the day that I was going to get back on the elliptical.  I spent the morning trying to psyche myself up to head out to the gym. As I walked out to my car suddenly I was Cameron Frye in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off saying, “OK. I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go, with–I’ll go. Shit!”

When I arrived at the gym, I headed right for an elliptical.  I had set a personal goal for myself to last a solid 15 minutes on that thing.  About 7 minutes into a gruelling level 1 workout, yeah, that’s right the easiest level, I once again turned my prayers to any spiritual deity that might hear me begging for mercy and take away my leg pain. At 14 minutes in I got serious with the self talk, “Come on now, you just tied your record, you only have 2 minutes left, you can surely go 2 more minutes.”  Ten seconds passes, “Oh no way, that seemed a lot longer that 10 seconds, what is wrong with this thing?”  I hit the 14 minute mark and suddenly time stood still. This was the longest minute I have ever experienced short of childbirth. When I finally hit 15 minutes, I hit the stop button as though I was in the lightning round of Jeopardy. I got off of that thing feeling like a total badass and finished out my workout on other machines.

“I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I’m going to take a stand. I’m going to defend it. Right or wrong, I’m going to defend it.” ~Cameron Frye

Humor, Uncategorized, Weight Loss

“Stupid Is What Stupid Does”

Since I started working out 12 days ago, I have only missed 1 day at Planet Fitness and I intentionally skipped that day to give my right hip flexor a break. Apparently it doesn’t like the elliptical either. I have watched others hop on this machine and stay on it like they are running cross-country with Forrest Gump. I get on the elliptical and more closely resemble a banana slug that is pretty much starting to dry up from the heat while halfway across the road.  So, no, I am not killing any records but I am at least putting in 30 minutes a day and also using the Total Body Workout at the gym.

That brings me to this….

So, for 12 days I have changed my lifestyle. I had actually started earlier in the year but I started keeping an accurate accounting of it 12 days ago. This morning I climbed on the scale eagerly looking for results and once again I was ready to throw that damn thing return the scale to the store due to inaccuracy; I was only down 2 ounces.  Insert adult language that you wouldn’t use around your mother right here _____________.  It was then that I had to put it all in perspective. I am down 6 lbs since I began 12 days ago which averages out to 1/2 lb per day.  And, I have noticed a change in how my clothes fit, so this was a reminder not to get hung up on the numbers and keep it about a healthy lifestyle.

My son called me early this afternoon sounding like he had landed a part in the Walking Dead, he left work early with the flu.  At my house flu means homemade chicken noodle soup, however, I didn’t want the carbs so I ate mine without the noodles. And no, I didn’t do this in my Instant Pot, this is a soup I love to cook on the stove.


Tomorrow I may just have to try out that elliptical again cause “Stupid is what stupid does.” ~Mrs. Gump